


Gegužės

by gnostic_heretic



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Lazy Mornings, Light Angst, M/M, Second Chances, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, idk man it's 3 am just read it i have no idea what to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 05:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13140210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnostic_heretic/pseuds/gnostic_heretic
Summary: And after all of this, and so much more, hearing his name coming from the lips he so much loved was something that still made Tolys' heart ache.-Written for Sia, and for the 2017 LietPol Secret Santa event. Happy winter Holidays to everyone- have a sweet fanfiction that is set in spring, because I can and because we all need some warmth. :)





	Gegužės

**Author's Note:**

> Before I begin: happy Holidays, Sia! I am your secret santa!   
> The prompt I chose was "sweet talks in the morning"- I hope I did it justice, and I hope you will enjoy it!

When Tolys woke up, the first thing he could sense was the lingering memory of his dream, a vague picture vanishing into darkness, the same darkness that gave it form. Something cold, something blue; a distinct feeling of fear. The color red.   
_If you look at your hands, there's going to be blood._   
He breathed in sharply, and opened his eyes wide, he sat up in his bed, turning away from his nightmares. Suddenly, the world was full of light: the cool rays of the morning sun rising over Kaunas hit his eyelids, and the teardrops that he promptly wiped away.   
He looked at his alarm clock: 8:30 am. Then at his phone: 8:46 am. Fourteen more minutes until his morning alarm would ring, and sixteen minutes of inaccuracy on his clock, for the third time that week.   
He sighed, adjusting the old machine that had been sitting on his nightstand for decades now: a boxy, black digital clock that Alfred had sent to him as a present back in the nineties. He really, _really_ needed to get someone to repair it. It was true that, as Feliks had said, he could just set an alarm on his phone- but there was something nostalgic, and special, about having a cherished present wake him up every morning.  
 _It's a shame,_ he thought, _that those new things are all built to break... back in the good old days, we built them to last a lifetime, and more._  
It was then that he noticed two things: number one, Feliks was not there (a strange occurrence, as he always tended to sleep in).   
Number two, the scent of coffee and freshly baked bread coming from the kitchen.

"Liet, you should at least consider wearing _pants_ when you leave your bedroom."  
There he was, standing in the kitchen and holding a paper bag from the nearby bakery.  
"Yeah", Tolys mumbled, and yawned, "it's my house. And it's nothing you haven't already seen."  
Feliks smiled, and came forward to hug his boyfriend.   
"Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. More for me, actually...", he whispered as he kissed Tolys' nose. "I got you _riestainis_. And coffee."   
"Mhm. I could smell that from my bedroom, even."  
Before Tolys had a chance to kiss him, Feliks broke off the hug to get the coffee he just bought.   
"Looks like you need it. Black and unsweetened.", he said, handing him a hot paper cup, "Just as you like it, see."  
He was not wrong; as soon as he could feel the caffeine rush, Tolys felt refreshed, and awake.  
"Thank you, Po."  
"You're welcome."  
Tolys leaned his back on the kitchen counter, and looked out of the window. It was a beautiful May day; Gegužės. The month of Milda, goddess of love. The trees of Kaunas looked greener than ever; the clouds in the sky reflected in the quiet water of the Neris.   
And reflecting in the glass of the window, another beautiful sight: his boyfriend, drinking his own cup of coffee, while absentmindedly adjusting a lock of blond hair behind his ear.   
The bright sunlight in the room enhanced the golden shine of his hair, the pink flush on his cheeks, and Tolys felt an overflowing urge to run his hand through it, to get closer to him.   
He ran his fingertip on the window, feeling the cold and smooth glass as he touched the reflection of Feliks' face.

"You know, I'm surprised to see you up so early. Did something happen?"  
The quiet look in Feliks' eyes darkened, his gaze now fixed on the hardwood floor.   
"I had... I had a nightmare... something stupid, about like, _vampires_ , and I couldn't fall back asleep. So I thought I'd do something for you- since you always make me breakfast and stuff."  
A _nightmare_. A clear image of a big red hand, covered in blood, flashed in Tolys' eyes.  
"Liet, you alright?"  
The familiar voice chased it out of his mind; all that was left now was a chill, running down his spine.  
"Hm... I'm just worried for you.", he nodded, giving his best shot at attempting a reassuring smile.  
" _Tolys_."   
Feliks' look was determined, searching for something in his expression, reading him like an open book. After all the decades, _centuries_ , that they spent together; and even when the circumstances kept them apart, the thought of each other, the nostalgia of a lost, golden age- of the warmth of each other's skin after a day spent in the fields, of the secret, furtive touch of the other's hand at the royal court- it was almost like he and _Poland_ could, indeed, speak to each other in a language that only the two of them knew. A language made of eyelashes fluttering, of the strange way Lithuania's nose wrinkled when he got irritated, of the way Poland's face tensed up when he tried to act tough.  
And after all of this, and so much more, hearing his name coming from the lips he so much loved was something that still made Tolys' heart ache.   
"Felek, I am ok."  
"Good. And well, just so you know", Feliks said, and now he was closer to him, so close- yet so far, as his hand reached for Tolys' chest, his fingers tracing a line all the way down to his stomach and back up to his neck, and cheek; they stood like that for a few seconds in front of each other, unsure what to say next, hesitating to touch any further. "Just so you know, I am here... and as long as I'm by your side, no one will hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you, never again."

In Tolys' mind, the words and feelings and the perceptible details around him (the perfume that Feliks was wearing, the clear blue of his nail polish, the sound of Feliks' voice and of his own heartbeat) were coming and crashing, like waves hitting the rocks in a seastorm.   
_It's too late._  
 _What did you do to save me?_  
 _What did you do to save yourself?_  
 _You could be the one hurting me, once again._  
 _Please, don't leave. Please, don't leave._  
"Please, don't leave. I love you, so much."

Once again, their love had happened slowly, gradually, imperceptible to anyone but themselves.   
The universe works in mysterious ways. Just like hundreds of years before, Feliks was the one who took the initiative.  
 _"After all this time, Tolys, I still love you."_  
The only difference, this time, was _pain_ ; the pain that they shared, and more importantly, the pain that they didn't share. Hidden, but never forgotten; unspoken, but loud enough to drown out every word.  
 _Maybe one day_ , Lithuania thought, _one day we could take a long walk on the beach in Smiltynė, and we will tell each other everything; and we can spend days talking, and crying, and laughing as the waves dissolve into foam on the shore, and the seagulls cry._  
Neither of them thought this would be an easy relationship, but they both knew that a second chance was a blessing. That there wouldn't be a third, because they would never let go of each other, never again.

He held Feliks tight, and it just felt so _right_.

"Felek, I am so grateful."  
"What for?"  
"Isn't it incredible? In spite of all that happened, we are here, we are free. You're here, in my arms. I love you..."  
Feliks sighed, leaning his head on Tolys' shoulder, wrapping his arms tighter around his waist.  
"I love you too, Liet..."

Tolys looked at the clock on the wall.   
9:15 am; it somehow seemed like so much more time had passed.   
"We should really eat those riestainis before they get cold. Shall we?"  
Feliks begrudgingly let go of the hug, scratching his back as he walked towards the table to retrieve the paper bag from the bakery.   
"There, there. Have some food."  
Tolys couldn't help but stare fondly at his beloved. He truly felt like the luckiest man in the world.   
"You know what, Po? There's still a few hours until lunch."  
"Hm, so what?", Feliks tried his best to articulate each syllabe as he chewed on a piece of his bread.  
"How do you feel about taking a walk to Ažuolynas?"  
"The park?"   
"Yeah."  
Feliks furrowed his eyebrows, but Tolys could tell from the way his lips were cracking into a smile that he _liked_ the idea.  
"Why the park?"  
"I don't know, I thought we could just spend some time together. _Talk_."  
"Mhm, whatever, _fine_. You'll need to wear some pants, though.", Feliks said, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He shot another look at Tolys' bare legs, and winked. "Or... maybe not?"

Before leaving the house, Tolys checked the time on his phone once again.   
9:57 am; Feliks was waiting for him outside the door.   
"So, you ready for our walk?", he asked, pointedly staring at Tolys' blue jeans.  
"Pants and everything."  
Suddenly, Tolys could feel his palms sweating; was he _really_ ready for this?  
Was he ready to talk about everything, everything that had been on his mind for all these years?  
The racing of his thought and the too familiar knot in his throat were suddenly interrupted, when he felt Feliks' hand holding his.  
"What are you wating for? The sun is shining today."  
Yes, the sun was shining on that beautiful May morning. And Tolys prayed for the blessing of Milda, and as soon as they stepped out, the warm spring breeze made him feel like his prayers had been heard.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Just some afterwords:  
> -Riestainis is a type of bagel-like bread. it's not usually a "breakfast food"; but forgive me taking some... narrative license with this! I just really love bagels, and Lithuanians really love their bread. Whoops.  
> -Milda, goddess of love, is part of the pantheon of Lithuanian paganism, Romuva. There is some debate over her authenticity and whether she was actually a goddess worshipped in medieval Lithuania, or a later invention, but the celebrations in the month of May and the current worship of her are real parts of contemporary Romuva.
> 
> Happy winter Holidays to everyone reading this, of any religion or lack thereof; I hope you enjoyed my writing, and thank you as always for your support and your kindness!


End file.
